Why Are We Afraid of Real Feedback for Our Kids?

I saw a digital speed-paint the other day from the daughter of a fellow homeschool mom. It was beautiful — especially for someone so young and self-taught. The lighting, the gesture, the composition… she’s on the right track.

As a professional digital artist, I was excited to offer a small bit of encouragement and direction — but just a bit. I’ve worked with enough developing artists to know they’re not ready for a full-on adjudication of their work, nor should they be. Growth takes time.

So I offered a gentle suggestion , just something simple to try, like bumping the saturation to balance the backlighting, and continuing to explore light and shadow. A tiny nudge, not a deep dive.

Her mom seemed excited to pass that on at first. But later, the message was edited and softened. A quick, polite “Thanks, I’ll do that” replaced the initial warmth.

And I’ve seen this before — maybe you have too.

The Real Question?

Why do parents act like gatekeepers instead of guides when it comes to their children’s creative growth?

We say we want our kids to flourish. We say we want mentors, community, and expertise. But sometimes, when real help shows up, we flinch. We pull back. We turn encouragement into something filtered and diluted, as if it’s a threat.

But why?

What We’re Really Protecting

Sometimes it’s about the child’s feelings. Sometimes, honestly, it’s about ours.

It’s hard not to feel vulnerable when someone else comments on your child’s work. Especially when that work feels like a reflection of your homeschooling or their intelligence. Maybe we feel we need to be the expert. Maybe we’re afraid that real feedback will shake our child’s confidence. Maybe we’ve just gotten used to praise-only spaces, and anything more feels “harsh,” even when it’s kind.

But art, and learning in general, doesn’t thrive in a vacuum of compliments.

Why Gentle, Honest Feedback Matters

True mentorship isn’t about pointing out flaws. It’s about showing the path forward. When someone with real experience takes time to notice your child’s talent and offer guidance, that’s not criticism. That’s a gift.

And I say this as a teacher, a homeschooler, and a parent:

Your kids are smart enough to handle it. They’re brave enough to grow.

And when we step out of the way, just a little, we give them something even better than praise. We give them the chance to get better.

A Word to Other Artist Moms - and Parents in General

If you’re raising a young creative, let them hear from people who’ve walked the road ahead.

Let them ask questions. Pass along that thoughtful advice. Don’t be afraid that someone else’s input will outshine your own — it won’t. It will only widen the circle of support your child deserves.

Because at the end of the day, that’s what we’re doing, right?

Raising Thinkers. Makers. Doers. LEARNERS!

Kids who get good.

Through work and advice.

You may not fully understand the path your child is drawn to. Especially if it’s one you’ve never walked yourself. You haven’t faced the technical walls they’ll hit, the creative blocks, or the quiet doubt that can come with building skill in a craft. But someone else has.

Someone else has learned the hard way; through frustration, trial and error, and years of hands-on work. And when they offer to help, it’s not because they’re judging. It’s because they see something real in your child’s work… and they want to help them get there faster, with less struggle.

Don’t be afraid to open that door and pass it along.