How Do I Ask Better Questions?

Parents and teachers are well-known for answering hundreds of questions a day from inquisitive children. I'm sure you know that! But let's flip it around. How many questions do you ask your children and students?

How many times have you asked...

Did you get your chores done? No.

Did you finish your project? Yes.

Did you feed the cat? I forgot.

How was your day? Good.

Is your room clean? Silence

...

The conversation dies right there.

These are Closed Questions.

Close Questions create an answer that quickly shuts a door. It stops a conversation in its tracks. Follow-up questions can be perceived as distrust and often elicit pushback, resentment, and anger. I've heard my own student, when asked follow-up questions, respond with, "Why? Don't you trust me?" Well, no, I don't because I don't have enough information.

I didn't ask the right question.

The way we ask questions determines whether a child reports information or truly thinks before responding, and in turn, learns from their experiences. The kinds of questions you need are called Open-Ended questions. They are powerful tools that create thought, connection, and respect. They are also one of the easiest changes you can make. You can start using them right away.

What is an Open-Ended Question

Closed Questions can be answered in just one or two words. Open-Ended Questions require thought, an opinion, a retelling of an event, or explanations. They can even spark curiosity and interpretation from your student or child. That's the gateway to a deeper emotional and intellectual connection between you.

Open-Ended Questions sound like this:

What chores did you do today? - Oh, sorry, I haven't done them yet. I'll do them now.

Asking Open-Ended Questions can get them to recall a task and take responsibility. You engage their brain instead of giving them instructions they can blindly follow.

What part of that project did you enjoy the most? - I liked painting, but the gluing was hard.

Asking Open-Ended questions can teach you about what they have experienced.

What did the cat do when you fed her? - Oh! I forgot to do that.

Asking Open-Edned Questions helps them see cause and effect. The child will feed the cat, but now they will look more closely at how happy the cat is when she gets food.

What did you do this afternoon? - I finished the dragon book. Now I don't know what to read.

Asking Open-Ended Questions can allow you to share what you like and dislike, letting them see you as a person and find common ground.

How do you feel now that your room is all cleaned up? - I don't know. I didn't clean it yet.

Asking Open-Ended Questions can help them choose to tell you the truth rather than hide it.

How Do I Know These Will Work?

There have been many studies gauging the effectiveness of questioning, especially since the 1930s, when social and psychological sciences became extremely popular. Several of these studies found that the classroom teacher asked hundreds of questions a day. Surprisingly, almost all of the questions had one answer. Students had to recite a fact, give an equation, or even retell someone else's opinion. Very few of the questions asked students to form their own opinions, connect different topics, or relate something to their own lives or experiences.

Researchers also found that, when rephrasing the question, student responses were longer,

broader, and contained richer, academic language and thought.

Instead of asking, "Who was the first president of the United States?" teachers asked, "Why do you think the early Americans chose George Washington?" All of a sudden, students' opinions mattered. The teacher was asking them what they thought! They had to analyse what they knew about the people of that time period, what they cared about, their motivations, and what qualities George Washington brought to the table.

When paired with Wait Time (you can learn about it here: Boost Student Intelligence: Use Wait Time), students were unstoppable! They answered in rich, deep, thoughtful responses that weren't always correct, but showed higher-order thinking and challenged them. When a question has no single obvious answer, the student has to search for connections. They revisit what they just read, pull information from earlier lessons, compare ideas, and try to organize their thoughts into something that makes sense. That internal struggle is the learning.

You may not know this, but many skilled and highly effective teachers have undergone training in questioning techniques.

How Do I Start?

The great news is, you don't have to go through training. You can train yourself. You

can begin the second you are done reading this blog. All you need to do is ask these questions:

Go ahead and right-click to save these for yourself or download them here. Add it to the front of a notebook so you have it on hand.